Deal with difficult friends and family

I am always here to give you advice based on my own experience and that’s why I always tell you who you should stay away from, and what you should look out for, because I wish I had that when I was getting married. Everyone’s experience is unique and it doesn’t necessarily mean that what people tell us will be helpful to us. That’s why I think it’s best to go to a professional. I’ve been doing this for so long, that at this point I know the pitfalls, the things to look out for, the things that tend to always go wrong and that nobody seems to tell you about. Right now, I want to give vendors a break. Instead, let me tell you about your family and friends

It is as clear as water that they have your best interest: they love you and they want everything to work out well, as much as you do. However, because they are family members or friends, there is an element that is never talked about, which really annoys me. All the time during weddings, people complain that they didn’t know some things could or would happen, and I feel bad for them cause they didn’t have any real professional advice. I want to help you stop that from happening, which is why I write these types of articles. 

What people never talk about is the way family and friends behave during weddings and the days leading up to them. Something happens, folks. I don’t know what it is and I don’t understand it, but something weird happens and people start to act funny. And it seems like the closer they are to you, the more likely they are to have a reaction to things. If the person is really close to you and if they love you, emotions run high, and just as it is for you,  it’s an anxious, driven moment for them. The nerves are there as much as they are there for you, the couple, because they love you, they are excited and unreasonable.

This has happened to me. My best friends, who are amazing people, were there on my wedding day and they acted stupid. Especially my best friend who, despite being fast, smart, and awesome, on my wedding day, she was like a deer in headlights. Later I realized, that what was happening to me, all the emotions and nerves, were also happening to her, as energy travels. When we are close to someone, we can pick up on other people’s feelings, emotions and energy. 

Now, the real reason I am telling you all this is so you avoid giving tasks and things to do to your friends. You will be disappointed. They will not respond as fast or as quickly as a professional would. You need fast and decisive people, who are ready to save the day, ready to make the right, spontaneous decisions, and someone who’s capable of resolving all the problems that may arise (Hire a wedding assistant like that here: Bridal Assistant – Wedding Packages NYC). Your friends are not working for you. They don’t have the experience and their behaviors are very dependent on emotions, so you can’t expect them to do their tasks flawlessly. Another thing that happens with family and friends is that they will give you advice before the wedding. I would not listen to that advice, as professionals are really the only ones entitled to real and useful advice. If you really need it, you can always call me, hire me, or someone like me to consult. Whatever you do, avoid people telling you how to live your wedding, as it will become very draining to hear all the advice, all the comments, all the suggestions, and the dos and don’ts that come from your close ones. Everybody seems to have something to say, which ends up being very draining for the couple. 

I know It’s really hard to keep them out of the conversation, and everybody will inevitably comment on your wedding. But do yourself a favor and plan some alone time between you and your spouse-to-be. Sit together and, although it may sound stupid, look into each other’s eyes and breathe together for 5 minutes. It’s sort of like meditation. Hold hands, look at each other, and breathe, every day or as many times as you can, until the day of your wedding. In the meantime, go shopping for the wedding vendors, figure out who you’re going to invite, what kind of flowers you want, book your flights, and all the wedding stuff. All of this is going to be stressful, no doubt. And it’s inevitable, which is why the only thing that you can do is to ground yourselves together and avoid these conversations and comments from pulling you apart. If you do this for 5 minutes every night, you will build immunity to all the chatter that is happening around your special day. It will make you stronger and it will make you assertive. Whatever you want to do, you will do. You won’t doubt, you won’t hesitate, and you won’t be pulled in seven different directions. So if you do all this and also hire good, experienced professionals who you interview and investigate, your wedding is very likely to go as smoothly as possible (Hire your own professional photographer: Wedding photography in Central Park – Wedding Packages NYC and make-up artist Hair & Makeup Styling – Wedding Packages NYC)

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